Localizing the National Story

.

All:

Courtney raises an excellent question about how to keep the focus of a story local when a lot of the material is national or even more distant. This is an important question, because toward the end of the semester we will be working on issue stories—topics that are by definition global (like child abuse or emphysema or air pollution). How do you write about BIG topics for the local audience?

There are two examples of good issue stories on the front of the HJ: “One on four drops out of high school,” with a WASHINGTON dateline; and “The facts of teen motherhood,” out of New York. These AP stories provide national context for similar followup stories that could be done with a local/state focus, using local sources.

Get it?

Here’s my exchange with Courtney this morning about her story on make-up.

On Oct 24, 2008, at 10:11 AM, Courtney Schoen wrote:

Question for you Professor Pease,

I’m working on my make-up article, and while research is fun, I’m having a hard time with the proximity idea. I have found interesting info about SLC being “vain” (Forbes) and also the newest information about Palin spending $13,000 a month for her make-up (isn’t that NUTS! I found it at Oregon News), but how do I bring the article back to Cache Valley? And as far as a lead goes, I want to grab the reader’s attention since it’s a feature article, so what do you think about something like this:

Today females feel intense pressure to look their best, however many wonder if the “personal best” counts when it includes caked on foundation, color stay lip gloss, and mega volume mascara.

As you can tell, I’m having a hard time with the lead right now and exactly how to best snatch the readers.

From there, I was thinking this outline. What do you think?

• Discuss the Forbes article about SLC as vainest city (I know that regards plastic surgery more than makeup, but I still like the “vain” part of the study)
• Some stats about makeup expenditures for the nation/or Utah
• Personal amounts spent on makeup
• Personal reasons from girls about why they wear it
• Sarah Palin’s amount to keep her looking vice presidential (!)
• positive opinions about makeup from makeup artists
• negative opinions from girls about makeup
• guys’ views on makeup, extreme opinions on both ends would be fun... love to find a dog quote, I’ve been asking guys, but none of them are willing to be quoted in an article about how a girl desperately needs the makeup. One guy told me white girls need it, black girls don’t ...reasoning....I don’t know.
• I would like to find stats relevant to USU, but I don’t know where to look yet.

I would love any feedback, especially on my sorry lead.

Pease Reply:

All that’s good stuff, Courtney. The way to get proximity into this more global story is to focus on local people and hang the national and state info on it.

So instead of starting with your rather vague and general lead, try something that focuses on the micro and then expand it to the macro.

Something like this, maybe: (NOTE: I made all these facts up! TP)

Courtney Schoen, a 20-year-old USU sophomore, would rather take a beating (or something) than be seen without her Estée Lauder (or something).

The pretty, blond JCOM major from Dallas doesn't even like to leave her 600 North apartment to pick up the morning newspaper without makeup on. “I just feel naked without it,” she said. “Call me nuts, but I won’t be seen in public without makeup.”

Nuts, vain or insecure, Schoen is not alone. American women her age spend $700 gazillion a year on cosmetics, a number that has climbed steadily since the 1920s, when makeup was considered low-class or for cheap floozies.

(That, BTW, is a nut graf that actually includes nuts. Nice, eh?)

....And then go either to other local sources, or start folding in (like baking) your national info. You see how it works? Use a person that readers can identify with, and then expand into the larger story. The key is to use local sources to focus and provide the hook on which to hang the national story, and keep coming back to your local people to keep the story “at home” for readers.

Make sense?

Great stuff about Palin's makeup, BTW—goes along perfectly with her spending $150,000 in six weeks on her clothes. Some “hockey Mom regular Joe”.....

If you haven’t seen them, you might enjoy Jon Stewart the other night on Palin’s Project Beltway clothing budget, and this followup on the average “Joe’s” she pals around with.

TP